SATIRE: Journalist sacked after submitting the same innings report thrice

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A Sri Lankan sports journalist, who works for a prominent newspaper has been sacked, after he was caught having proffered the same innings report thrice. The journalist, who was sent to England to cover Sri Lanka’s tour of England and Ireland, had submitted the innings report he had prepared during the first match for the second and third game as well after altering the relevant numbers.

Frustrated by his employer’s decision to axe him, the journalist took to social media to vent his anger. “When the team bats in the same way in all three innings despite losing each game, how do you expect me to write three different reports in three different ways?” asked the incensed journo.

A poor start with the bat followed by a desultory middle-over period that eventually lead to a proliferation of wickets at the death instead of runs has been the hallmark of Sri Lanka’s innings in all three innings. The team adopted the same strategy of saving wickets to charge at the end in spite of it paying no dividends like a confounded noob entering the same password, again and again, hoping that the system would accept it in the face of the system calling the password incorrect.

“If the team itself cannot be creative enough, how do you expect me to be creative?” argued the glum journalist. The journalist further questioned the decision to axe him despite the team not suffering any consequences for the same mistake.

When one commenter tagged the editor asking him how he allowed the report to go through his hands, the enraged editor fumed in the thread saying “When fielders let it go through their hands, don’t complain”. However, he returned to the thread, after a while, stating that the report perfectly matched all three games. I was seeing the same thing on TV, so reading the same thing on the report didn’t alarm me,” he commented.

Meanwhile, sources from certain hospitals have claimed that several people had come to them complaining of a déjà vu twice within three days. However, they were all found to have watched all three matches in the Sri Lanka vs England ODI series, which had given them an illusion of a déjà vu.

The English Cricket Board, exasperated by Sri Lanka’s continuous failures in the exact same way, has proposed the idea of rebroadcasting two of the first three matches instead of playing the 4th and the 5th match in order to cut the cost of hosting a pedestrian team.

This article is a work of fiction and is supposed to be taken in jest.